📜 TERMS OF SERVICE

1. Acceptance of Terms

By accessing or using deathbyathousand.com ("the Site"), you agree to be bound by these Terms of Service. If you do not agree, please close this tab and go watch something else. Toaster will understand.

2. Description of Service

Death By A Thousand Laughs provides comedy content including but not limited to: animated shorts, daily jokes, merchandise, dad jokes delivered via email, and Martian progress reports (the accuracy of which cannot be guaranteed — Mars is far and our sources are questionable).

3. User Conduct

By using our services, you agree to:

• Be funny. Or at least try. We're trying.
• Not use our content for AI training without permission (the desert family has feelings)
• Not impersonate any of our characters (especially not Kevin — he's copyrighted and he'll stare at you)
• Not misuse our services for spam, harassment, or illegal activities
• Accept that Mortimer's dad jokes are intentionally bad and complaining will only encourage him

4. Intellectual Property

All content on the Site — including characters (Mortimer, Toaster, Mira, Sparky, Ratbert, Starling, Colossus, Terra, Kevin, Elon, and the Baby Legion), scripts, images, videos, jokes, merch designs, and the phrase "Death By A Thousand [Word]" — is the intellectual property of Death By A Thousand Laughs, LLC unless otherwise noted.

You may share our content on social media with attribution. You may not reproduce, distribute, or create derivative works without written permission. Yes, that includes NFTs. No, Mortimer does not want to be an NFT.

5. Merchandise

All merchandise sold through our Printify store is provided "as is." We make no warranties about the fit, fabric, or spiritual satisfaction you will receive from wearing a shirt with Toaster's burnt face on it. If your shirt catches fire, that's actually very on-brand.

6. Email Communications

By signing up for Mortimer's Daily Dad Jokes, you agree to receive one (1) dad joke per day via email. You acknowledge that these jokes may cause: eye-rolling, audible groaning, involuntary smiling, or existential contemplation about why a gerbil in armor is funnier than most comedians. You may unsubscribe at any time via the link in each email.

7. Limitation of Liability

Death By A Thousand Laughs, LLC is not liable for:

• Laugh-induced injuries (laughing so hard you fall out of your chair)
• Existential crises caused by Toaster's optimism in the face of constant failure
• Injuries sustained while attempting to build your own pizza delivery rocket
• Emotional distress from Mortimer's particularly devastating puns
• Any damages arising from use of the Site, whether foreseeable or not

8. Google OAuth & API Usage

Our services use Google OAuth for YouTube and Drive integration. By granting OAuth permissions, you authorize us to:

• Upload videos to your YouTube channel (when configured)
• Read public video statistics for performance tracking
• Create and manage files in our designated Drive folder

You can revoke these permissions at any time via Google's permissions page.

9. Termination

We reserve the right to terminate or suspend access to our services at any time, without prior notice, for conduct that we believe violates these Terms or is harmful to the desert family ecosystem. We'll probably send a dad joke about it first though.

10. Changes to Terms

We may modify these terms at any time. Changes will be posted on this page with an updated "Last updated" date. Continued use of the Site after changes constitutes acceptance. If Mortimer objects, we'll hear about it in the newsletter.

11. Governing Law

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Texas, USA, because that's where we the desert family roams free and the desert doesn't have its own legal system yet.

12. Contact

For legal inquiries: legal@deathbyathousand.com

For everything else: yell into the desert. We'll hear you.