Filed by Mira (Zara). Edited for content. Mostly because she kept flirting with the mission log.
📡 SOL 47 — Weekly Report
"The Boring Company tunnel expansion is 63% complete. Ratbert has complained 847 times since last Tuesday. That's a new record. Mortimer's wheel is holding up (we used extra pizza crust epoxy). Sparky has calculated that the current baby-to-robot ratio is unacceptable and has begun a campaign. Kevin stood on a cactus for 6 hours straight without blinking. We're making progress."
#Sol47#MarsReport
📡 SOL 46 — Kitchen Incident
"Toaster attempted to cook again. The kitchen is fine. Mostly. The smoke has cleared. The fire extinguisher has been refilled. Terra is disappointed but not surprised. On the bright side, the pizza was perfect. No one can explain how."
#KitchenWarZone
📡 SOL 45 — Pizza Mission Debrief
"The first interplanetary pizza delivery covered approximately 12 feet before landing in a cactus. The pizza survived intact. This is being hailed as a success by everyone except Ratbert, who had to dig the recovery tunnel. Starling claims she 'stuck the landing.' She did not. Kevin ate a pepperoni. He has no regrets."
#PizzaMission
📁 New reports auto-load from /content/movies/ — Martian progress, filed daily.